Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
My Mother!!!
It has been a very long month or so without speaking to my mom. She is not the smartest person when it comes to men. Her and I have always had a difference in opinion for men for as long as I can remember. I can't even keep track of her old bf's anymore. She was with my brothers dad for about 13 years and since they split my freshman year she has went down hill from that point on. She married a man, Jeff, after a month of knowing him and that lasted about two weeks. She dated Kurt who ended up being an alcoholic and kind of weird who ended up committing suicide a while ago. Rest in peace Kurt. A few years ago she met Jim. He turned out to be another alcoholic. They fought and broke up all the time and yet she still decided to marry him. That marriage lasted a year. I'm pretty sure she decided to cheat on him. They are still split up. She has been married 4 times and is well on her way to her 4th divorce.
Ever since I was little I had always threatened to move in with my dad. And that would have always been the absolute last resort because I didn't get along with my dad until I had my children. He has made a lot of mistakes in his past as well and used to have a drinking problem himself. Long story short with him, we didn't talk for years until I got married and was pregnant with Courtney. I decided to try and to forgive because I want my children to have their grandparents. My mother has never cared on how I felt with her and her choice of men. Still today she shows me how little she cares.
Last month my aunt and uncle had a cook out. We weren't planning on going but we did and it was possibly one of the worst days of my life. I knew as soon as I seen her that I was done with her non sense drama. I hate the choices she makes. She has to know the consequences of dating one alcoholic after another and/or a druggie! We get there and she is seeing a new guy. She used to date him before when I was younger. I didn't remember who he was when he came up to me. When I found out he was Rick Laws, I was devastated. I remember him from when I was younger. He wasn't a good guy back then. I remember being scared of him. Why would I want that type of person for my mother?
Yet again, she decided to date another unemployed alcoholic. She has always dated people like this ever since her and Duane. My step dad Duane surely wasn't a perfect man. But compared to the last few men she has been with, he's a saint. I grew up with him as my father figure. I miss him so much, but he can't change the mistakes that he has made in the past. And some of his mistakes I can't just seem to over look. I would love to make amends with him, but I'm sure he still isn't the man I have always been hoping and praying for him to be.
When I saw my mother with Rick, I told her right then and there. Don't you dare! She obviously didn't take me seriously. She stayed with him all that weekend. I heard some pretty horrid and embarrassing stuff from a "little birdy". I was not happy about it at all. I knew it was best not to talk to my mother face to face or over the phone because I would have blown up and told her how I really felt instead of sugar coating it like I did. I decided to write a letter to my mom(this was a month ago) and still today she has not had one response to me. I poured my heart out. Telling her how I felt, how great of a person I know she is, how I know she can do so much better and how much better she truly deserves. Over a month later she has not one word to say to me. Which makes me a whole hell of a lot more angrier towards her for now other reasons. I've been talked about behind my back with my family. I've taken a lot of crap with people claiming I'm being like one of my cousins, who I will not mention. I'm done. I'm not the bad guy here. Supposedly I'm keeping my children away from her, which is more than 100% false.
I wrote mom, maybe a 3 page letter, explaining my reasons and thoughts. Not once in this letter did I say that she could not see her grandchildren. I would never do that. I want my kids to have her in their life. But she isn't the grandmother or the mother I know and want her to be. I don't want my children to see her the way I do. I don't want them to grow up resenting her like I did. I don't want them to grow up living their life to be better than her or me. I have always lived my life to better myself, because I knew from when I was really little that I never wanted to grow up to be like my mother. She has never been anyone I was proud of to look up to. I commend her for being a single mom of 3. In that area I knew she did the best she could. But I also know she could have done a lot better as well.
It has been over a month since I have heard from my mom. Not once has she tried to call to see the kids or to make things right with me. To my understanding, she has been off work. She has had more than enough time to come and see her grand kids. Her not seeing her grandchildren is all on her. Has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to call her to ask her to come see her grand kids. She should want to see them whether were not getting along or not.
I got a call from my grandmother the other day stating that my mom and Rick broke up. So that's supposed to make everything better, NO!!! She didn't break up with Rick because she had learned her lesson or because she realized what kind of person he was or what type of men she goes for. She broke up with him because she could not deal with his ex. So, I seriously doubt it is over. She hasn't learned anything. She doesn't care. She has shown me how little she cares. It kills me but this is all the truth and I don't have to and won't deal with this anymore.
My grandmother goes on to tell me, well your mom says that if you would have called and invited her over she would have came to see the kids. NOPE, Surely not. I'm not going to do anything to convenience my mother. She made this mess. It's her responsibility to clean it up. I said my peace over a month ago. She's had her chance to say anything to me. She has had nothing to say and continued to see him despite how any of her family felt. Like I said, she has showed me how little she cares. That makes me angry on a whole other level and for a whole other reason. Why should I have to call her to make amends with her? Why should I have to call to see if she will come and see her grand kids? Why should I have to do anything for her? Guess what? I don't and I won't. She knew good and well how all of this was going to pan out and SHE DIDN'T CARE!!! So guess what??? I DON'T CARE!!!
Just because she supposedly broke up with Rick, it doesn't change the past and it doesn't make anything better. Until the day she realizes what she has been doing and how she has been acting I'm done. Until the day she comes to me and apologizes for ignoring me and acting as if her daughter and grand kids haven't existed for over a month, I have nothing to say to her. This is my mom's mess and I believe it is up to her to make things right. I poured my heart out to her and she had no response. Any normal parent would try to make things right and do right by their children and their family. I knew if it came down to it with my own children, I would move the world for them if I could. They are my world and no one on this earth could ever change that. No one on this earth could ever compare to how I feel for my kids. They are my life and I would do anything to keep them in my life, to keep them feeling safe, and to keep them happy.
My mom has shown me over the many years of different men that she doesn't care what kind of men she brings around her children. From my dad, to Bobby, Rick, Jeff, Jim, Kurt, and whoever else. She has never cared. Well I do. I didn't have a say so when I was younger, but I do now. I'm not going to expose my children to bad people. It still upsets me today that she had my kids calling Jim, grandpa. I knew that the marriage wasn't going to last. And still today, if Courtney sees a picture of Jim she says she wants to see papaw. I HATE that! My mother has to understand that these are my children and she has no say so on who she introduces to my children. I'm not going to allow her to bring man after man into my children's life like she did with us. I don't want just anyone for my kids. I want the best for them.
I hope she realizes soon. I hate not talking to her because she has always been one I can count on, but not no more. I'd rather not know her than to deal with this anymore. She can do so much better. She just chooses not to!
Ever since I was little I had always threatened to move in with my dad. And that would have always been the absolute last resort because I didn't get along with my dad until I had my children. He has made a lot of mistakes in his past as well and used to have a drinking problem himself. Long story short with him, we didn't talk for years until I got married and was pregnant with Courtney. I decided to try and to forgive because I want my children to have their grandparents. My mother has never cared on how I felt with her and her choice of men. Still today she shows me how little she cares.
Last month my aunt and uncle had a cook out. We weren't planning on going but we did and it was possibly one of the worst days of my life. I knew as soon as I seen her that I was done with her non sense drama. I hate the choices she makes. She has to know the consequences of dating one alcoholic after another and/or a druggie! We get there and she is seeing a new guy. She used to date him before when I was younger. I didn't remember who he was when he came up to me. When I found out he was Rick Laws, I was devastated. I remember him from when I was younger. He wasn't a good guy back then. I remember being scared of him. Why would I want that type of person for my mother?
Yet again, she decided to date another unemployed alcoholic. She has always dated people like this ever since her and Duane. My step dad Duane surely wasn't a perfect man. But compared to the last few men she has been with, he's a saint. I grew up with him as my father figure. I miss him so much, but he can't change the mistakes that he has made in the past. And some of his mistakes I can't just seem to over look. I would love to make amends with him, but I'm sure he still isn't the man I have always been hoping and praying for him to be.
When I saw my mother with Rick, I told her right then and there. Don't you dare! She obviously didn't take me seriously. She stayed with him all that weekend. I heard some pretty horrid and embarrassing stuff from a "little birdy". I was not happy about it at all. I knew it was best not to talk to my mother face to face or over the phone because I would have blown up and told her how I really felt instead of sugar coating it like I did. I decided to write a letter to my mom(this was a month ago) and still today she has not had one response to me. I poured my heart out. Telling her how I felt, how great of a person I know she is, how I know she can do so much better and how much better she truly deserves. Over a month later she has not one word to say to me. Which makes me a whole hell of a lot more angrier towards her for now other reasons. I've been talked about behind my back with my family. I've taken a lot of crap with people claiming I'm being like one of my cousins, who I will not mention. I'm done. I'm not the bad guy here. Supposedly I'm keeping my children away from her, which is more than 100% false.
I wrote mom, maybe a 3 page letter, explaining my reasons and thoughts. Not once in this letter did I say that she could not see her grandchildren. I would never do that. I want my kids to have her in their life. But she isn't the grandmother or the mother I know and want her to be. I don't want my children to see her the way I do. I don't want them to grow up resenting her like I did. I don't want them to grow up living their life to be better than her or me. I have always lived my life to better myself, because I knew from when I was really little that I never wanted to grow up to be like my mother. She has never been anyone I was proud of to look up to. I commend her for being a single mom of 3. In that area I knew she did the best she could. But I also know she could have done a lot better as well.
It has been over a month since I have heard from my mom. Not once has she tried to call to see the kids or to make things right with me. To my understanding, she has been off work. She has had more than enough time to come and see her grand kids. Her not seeing her grandchildren is all on her. Has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to call her to ask her to come see her grand kids. She should want to see them whether were not getting along or not.
I got a call from my grandmother the other day stating that my mom and Rick broke up. So that's supposed to make everything better, NO!!! She didn't break up with Rick because she had learned her lesson or because she realized what kind of person he was or what type of men she goes for. She broke up with him because she could not deal with his ex. So, I seriously doubt it is over. She hasn't learned anything. She doesn't care. She has shown me how little she cares. It kills me but this is all the truth and I don't have to and won't deal with this anymore.
My grandmother goes on to tell me, well your mom says that if you would have called and invited her over she would have came to see the kids. NOPE, Surely not. I'm not going to do anything to convenience my mother. She made this mess. It's her responsibility to clean it up. I said my peace over a month ago. She's had her chance to say anything to me. She has had nothing to say and continued to see him despite how any of her family felt. Like I said, she has showed me how little she cares. That makes me angry on a whole other level and for a whole other reason. Why should I have to call her to make amends with her? Why should I have to call to see if she will come and see her grand kids? Why should I have to do anything for her? Guess what? I don't and I won't. She knew good and well how all of this was going to pan out and SHE DIDN'T CARE!!! So guess what??? I DON'T CARE!!!
Just because she supposedly broke up with Rick, it doesn't change the past and it doesn't make anything better. Until the day she realizes what she has been doing and how she has been acting I'm done. Until the day she comes to me and apologizes for ignoring me and acting as if her daughter and grand kids haven't existed for over a month, I have nothing to say to her. This is my mom's mess and I believe it is up to her to make things right. I poured my heart out to her and she had no response. Any normal parent would try to make things right and do right by their children and their family. I knew if it came down to it with my own children, I would move the world for them if I could. They are my world and no one on this earth could ever change that. No one on this earth could ever compare to how I feel for my kids. They are my life and I would do anything to keep them in my life, to keep them feeling safe, and to keep them happy.
My mom has shown me over the many years of different men that she doesn't care what kind of men she brings around her children. From my dad, to Bobby, Rick, Jeff, Jim, Kurt, and whoever else. She has never cared. Well I do. I didn't have a say so when I was younger, but I do now. I'm not going to expose my children to bad people. It still upsets me today that she had my kids calling Jim, grandpa. I knew that the marriage wasn't going to last. And still today, if Courtney sees a picture of Jim she says she wants to see papaw. I HATE that! My mother has to understand that these are my children and she has no say so on who she introduces to my children. I'm not going to allow her to bring man after man into my children's life like she did with us. I don't want just anyone for my kids. I want the best for them.
I hope she realizes soon. I hate not talking to her because she has always been one I can count on, but not no more. I'd rather not know her than to deal with this anymore. She can do so much better. She just chooses not to!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Eli and His New Glasses
So.... about a month ago I started noticing something wrong with Eli's left eye. I had noticed that when he is trying to focus on something that his left eye would turn in. Also when he is looking and talking to me, he's not actually looking at me. He has been looking past me but obviously focusing on me.
I thought I was the only one noticing it til Courtney's 3rd birthday party. My friends husband asked her what was wrong with Eli's eye. I knew then that this wasn't just in my head and he needed his eyes checked.
I took him to his family doctor and she sent a referral to get his eyes checked.
We took him to an ophthalmologist on June 21. He did really good at first, but a 2.5 hour visit with any small child is bound to end badly. After they dilated his eyes, the appt. was absolute torture. He did not want to cooperate at all. The eye doctor had to have someone come in and help hold his head still. Let me tell you, my 19 month old son is one strong little boy!
They diagnosed Eli as farsighted. Farsighted children have the ability to use the focusing power in their eyes to see clearly at almost any distance without correction. Occasionally, the farsightedness (hyperopia) is sever enough that the eyes become "lazy"; doctors call this amblyopia. If this occurs, the eyes do not have the stimulus to develop good vision.
Moderate farsightedness can cause some children's eyes to cross. This is called accommodative esotropia. Correction of the farsightedness should begins as soon as the crossing is noted and glasses must be worn all waking hours to prevent a permanent eye misalignment, or strabismus. If the eyes become permanently misaligned, surgery may be required to straighten them.
This is the category Eli falls under. He has been prescribed glasses and has to wear them all waking hours, which is not easy by any means. He has a follow up appointment in August. They will check then to see how the glasses do with his eyes. If they see no improvement they we will discuss surgery. I thought it was only in his left eye, but come to find out it's both. He is crossing both of his eyes, trying to focus on objects close to him. So a patch was out of the question.
I have to say, he looks so darn cute in his glasses. But I do hate that he has to wear them. I'm hoping and praying everyday that the glasses will correct his eyes, but with him being moderately farsighted, the said it could go either way.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Entering to win a Zak! Designs Giveaway!
My friend Jessica Jetter is doing a give away for Zak! Designs 6 piece dish set. I am entering to win it bc the kids love the designs and it is very durable. We already use Zak! Designs for the kids. My daughter has Tinker Bell's plate, bowl, cup, fork, and spoon. My son has the Cars design of the same dish set. The only thing that I don't like about it is, that on the cups the designs have faded and worn away. Other than that I have nothing to complain about it. I love the cute little designs and my kids are always fighting me when we go to the store to get new dish sets for them. I hope I win this give away. It's my first time entering something like this, and trust me it's not been easy for me lol! I've been getting lot of advice lol!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Courtney is 3
Three years later and she still has the attitude where she does things on her own terms. I joke saying she is turning 3 going on 16! We celebrated her 3rd birthday June 12, 2010. She had a wonderful time. It looked like Christmas for her once again. Most of her family and all of her little friends all came to celebrate with us.
It does not seem at all possible that she should be three already. I remember her birth like it was just yesterday. I can still remember the sounds and the smell and all the emotions like I just lived it recently...
She may be more than a hand full sometimes, but I am so proud of her. She is such a smart, bright, determined, independent little girl. Soon enough she will be starting school and will no longer be able to stay home with me. I will enjoy the next year with her home while I still can :)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My Little Boy is Growin Up
I can not believe how big my little boy is getting on me. Eli was born on November 6, 2008. He was 10lbs. 2oz. and 21.5 in. long. Today he had his 18 month check up, and boy has he grown. He now weighs 36lbs. 2oz. and he is 35.5 inches long. His head is 20 inches (which is bigger than my soon to be 3 year old daughter Courtney). I am astonished how time flies. I feel like I had just had Eli's 1st birthday, and now he is 18 months old. I'll be planning his 2nd birthday before I'm ready for it. He is such an amazing little guy. He keeps up with his big sister with no problem at all. He can now say nine words. He walks perfectly, runs like crazy, and let me tell you he is such a boy's boy lol! It makes me sad to think that he isn't going to be my little "Sugar Butt" much longer. But at the same time I am so excited to watch him grow. I can't wait til we get to watch him go off to school, watch him play sports ( everyone swears he's going to be our linebacker in the family), and I can not wait to watch him grow into a handsome, wonderful, bright, strong, kind young man. My life is pretty perfect with my husband and children :)Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Featured Mom Article- Hope We Win!
(click letter to make larger)
This is for my very best friend Jessica Jetter. You are truly an amazing person. You do deserve all this praise and recognition and so much more. If it wasn't for you, your sister would probably never see her kids again. I love you and I hope we win this. Your the best so quit acting like your not!!!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Stuff
It has been a busy weekend and it's not over yet.
Yesterday Eli had his 15 month check up at 17 months old. Got some disturbing news and I am not happy about it. At Eli's 12 month check up they tested his blood for lead and his lead level was high. Five months later I find this out. No one thought to call me to let me know that his lead levels were high. He has to have a venous done. If his lead level comes back high again, someone will be coming out to search the property and the buildings. I am still so mad that I was not made aware of this. This is something a parent should know pronto. High lead levels is very serious and could cause brain damage. Ugh... STUPID Doctor's!!! Other wise he is doing fine. He now weighs 33 lbs and 10 oz. He is 34 inches long. His eczema has spread to just about every where. He needs to use his antibiotic cream again for 10 days. They prescribed him a medicated lotion finally as well. Hoping his skin clears up soon. It looks horrible and can't be comfortable.
This is day 3 of no bottles and no pacifiers. Courtney asks for her sassy everyday but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. She no longer cries for it at night time. Taking Eli's bottle away wasn't too big of a deal either. He drinks out of a sippy cup just fine. He really doesn't even seem to notice. I am so glad Courtney is doing good with her sassy disappearing though. That thing was definitely her best friend. Her security blanket. She was so attached to her sassy. I think she loved that thing more than me sometimes. I am so proud of how well she is doing. She is most certainly my brave big girl!
We fixed my car and now we think my transmission is going out.... Yippy! Just my luck as usual. Once that goes, I'm junking that POS! New car for me next year anyways...
Yesterday Eli had his 15 month check up at 17 months old. Got some disturbing news and I am not happy about it. At Eli's 12 month check up they tested his blood for lead and his lead level was high. Five months later I find this out. No one thought to call me to let me know that his lead levels were high. He has to have a venous done. If his lead level comes back high again, someone will be coming out to search the property and the buildings. I am still so mad that I was not made aware of this. This is something a parent should know pronto. High lead levels is very serious and could cause brain damage. Ugh... STUPID Doctor's!!! Other wise he is doing fine. He now weighs 33 lbs and 10 oz. He is 34 inches long. His eczema has spread to just about every where. He needs to use his antibiotic cream again for 10 days. They prescribed him a medicated lotion finally as well. Hoping his skin clears up soon. It looks horrible and can't be comfortable.
This is day 3 of no bottles and no pacifiers. Courtney asks for her sassy everyday but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. She no longer cries for it at night time. Taking Eli's bottle away wasn't too big of a deal either. He drinks out of a sippy cup just fine. He really doesn't even seem to notice. I am so glad Courtney is doing good with her sassy disappearing though. That thing was definitely her best friend. Her security blanket. She was so attached to her sassy. I think she loved that thing more than me sometimes. I am so proud of how well she is doing. She is most certainly my brave big girl!
We fixed my car and now we think my transmission is going out.... Yippy! Just my luck as usual. Once that goes, I'm junking that POS! New car for me next year anyways...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
It's Been Quite Some Time!
Figured I would give some updates since it has been quite a while since the last time I had blogged. We are all doing really great. Since the warmer weather the kids have been enjoying going outside to play. I have been enjoying watching them play outside as well. They are growing up so fast. It is just crazy to think of how big they are getting.
I think we are pretty much finished with the apartment for now. We have one bedroom left to paint. We re did the floor in the kitchen, got our new furniture, hung up new pictures, got my new dishware, finished the kids bedroom, fixed the holes that were left in the walls, screened in our patio, and finished our dining room as well. Well, we still have to re stain the dining room furniture because Hollis bought two different tones by accident. We are still waiting on our bedroom doors. We were supposed to have them days and days ago. As usual the landlord proves how worthless they are...
Hollis has been a lot happier since everything has been finished and that we are finally caught up on bills. He has certainly become Mr. Fix it lately lol! He has been doing a lot more with the kids lately and we have been getting out a lot more lately as well. Which is really nice. We used to never do anything because Hollis always wanted to stay home. Not stressing out about finances and everything else has really been a blessing.
Our baby girl, Courtney Anne, is about to turn 3 on us. It is absolutely astonishing how fast time flies by. I miss her being my little baby girl. She is growing up so fast and talks way too much for her own good. She has one attitude like no other. I love her to death. She was 7 lbs and 2 oz when she was born. Now she is 37 lbs and 38 in. She is definitely mommy's big girl. She is so smart. Joanne, from Help Me Grow, has been talking about her starting pre school this year. At 3 years old I am just not ready for her to leave me yet. I am going to go through the Hippa program that way she is still doing pre school work but I am the one working with her. I will send her to pre school next year and she will start kindergarten in 2012. A couple month ago, I was talking to Courtney. I asked her,"What kind of party do you want for your birthday?" Courtney answers me," I want presents." lol! How hilarious. At least she knows what she wants. She is obsessed with the movie Monsters Inc. So we are going to throw her a cute Monsters bday party. I have been looking at different places. My grandmother offered her house for the party, so I think that is our plan. I can't believe I am already planning her third birthday. Seems as though she was just my newborn baby weeks ago...
Eli is growing fast on us too. He is starting to talk so much more. He says hi, bye, no, sissy, mama, daddy, I love you, and are you OK? lol! He wasn't a small baby by any means. He was a 10 lb 2 oz and 21.5 in baby boy. He is now 34 lbs and 32 in. Not far behind Courtney at all. He is definitely 100% boy. He loves to get dirty, run around all day and play with his trucks, he loves to sword fight (foam swords), he is just an absolute blast to be around. He for sure keeps me busy all day long. He is a bit of a movie lover. Some days he can play all day and sometimes he can be one heck of a couch potato. He has been dealing with eczema pretty much his whole life. He has always had it on one spot of his left arm... Now it is every where. I called the Dr and I will be taking him for an appt. tomorrow. He is still my little cuddle bug. He loves to cuddle with mommy and daddy. I'm so glad because Courtney definitely does not like to cuddle anymore unless she's sleepy.
Being the mother of my two little one's is so amazing. They are my pride and joy. There is never a dull moment with them. Wouldn't change anything about them for the world.
As for me, I have been very busy lately with them and trying to keep this place in order. Living in such a smaller place is certainly difficult to keep it always spotless. Certainly not how we live lol! With two toddlers, there is bound to always be some kind of mess here. I have put going back to school on hold. I need to look into some more info. I don't know what I want to do about school. I know I do want to go back to school, its just deciding where, when, and for what.
We had thought we fixed my car. It runs a little better. It's not fixed though. We now believe my transmission is going out. So, it won't be long till I am without a car again. We have already decided that we are buying a new car next year. Thank God!
So, life is good. I have nothing much to complain about. I have wonderful friends and family. I have recently found who my true friends are, who I can count on, and who I can care less for anymore. All I need is my family. Doesn't matter where we are, or what is going on.... As long as we are all together. Life is amazing!!!
I think we are pretty much finished with the apartment for now. We have one bedroom left to paint. We re did the floor in the kitchen, got our new furniture, hung up new pictures, got my new dishware, finished the kids bedroom, fixed the holes that were left in the walls, screened in our patio, and finished our dining room as well. Well, we still have to re stain the dining room furniture because Hollis bought two different tones by accident. We are still waiting on our bedroom doors. We were supposed to have them days and days ago. As usual the landlord proves how worthless they are...
Hollis has been a lot happier since everything has been finished and that we are finally caught up on bills. He has certainly become Mr. Fix it lately lol! He has been doing a lot more with the kids lately and we have been getting out a lot more lately as well. Which is really nice. We used to never do anything because Hollis always wanted to stay home. Not stressing out about finances and everything else has really been a blessing.
Our baby girl, Courtney Anne, is about to turn 3 on us. It is absolutely astonishing how fast time flies by. I miss her being my little baby girl. She is growing up so fast and talks way too much for her own good. She has one attitude like no other. I love her to death. She was 7 lbs and 2 oz when she was born. Now she is 37 lbs and 38 in. She is definitely mommy's big girl. She is so smart. Joanne, from Help Me Grow, has been talking about her starting pre school this year. At 3 years old I am just not ready for her to leave me yet. I am going to go through the Hippa program that way she is still doing pre school work but I am the one working with her. I will send her to pre school next year and she will start kindergarten in 2012. A couple month ago, I was talking to Courtney. I asked her,"What kind of party do you want for your birthday?" Courtney answers me," I want presents." lol! How hilarious. At least she knows what she wants. She is obsessed with the movie Monsters Inc. So we are going to throw her a cute Monsters bday party. I have been looking at different places. My grandmother offered her house for the party, so I think that is our plan. I can't believe I am already planning her third birthday. Seems as though she was just my newborn baby weeks ago...
Eli is growing fast on us too. He is starting to talk so much more. He says hi, bye, no, sissy, mama, daddy, I love you, and are you OK? lol! He wasn't a small baby by any means. He was a 10 lb 2 oz and 21.5 in baby boy. He is now 34 lbs and 32 in. Not far behind Courtney at all. He is definitely 100% boy. He loves to get dirty, run around all day and play with his trucks, he loves to sword fight (foam swords), he is just an absolute blast to be around. He for sure keeps me busy all day long. He is a bit of a movie lover. Some days he can play all day and sometimes he can be one heck of a couch potato. He has been dealing with eczema pretty much his whole life. He has always had it on one spot of his left arm... Now it is every where. I called the Dr and I will be taking him for an appt. tomorrow. He is still my little cuddle bug. He loves to cuddle with mommy and daddy. I'm so glad because Courtney definitely does not like to cuddle anymore unless she's sleepy.
Being the mother of my two little one's is so amazing. They are my pride and joy. There is never a dull moment with them. Wouldn't change anything about them for the world.
As for me, I have been very busy lately with them and trying to keep this place in order. Living in such a smaller place is certainly difficult to keep it always spotless. Certainly not how we live lol! With two toddlers, there is bound to always be some kind of mess here. I have put going back to school on hold. I need to look into some more info. I don't know what I want to do about school. I know I do want to go back to school, its just deciding where, when, and for what.
We had thought we fixed my car. It runs a little better. It's not fixed though. We now believe my transmission is going out. So, it won't be long till I am without a car again. We have already decided that we are buying a new car next year. Thank God!
So, life is good. I have nothing much to complain about. I have wonderful friends and family. I have recently found who my true friends are, who I can count on, and who I can care less for anymore. All I need is my family. Doesn't matter where we are, or what is going on.... As long as we are all together. Life is amazing!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Going Back to School!!!
Wow! I can not believe that I have been out of high school for five years this May. Crazy stuff. Since then I have been married and have two toddlers under the age of three. I have definitely been busy and it has not always been easy. I kept telling myself, when we get just a little better with finances I am going back to school. Well of course things never get better, especially with a family of four living on one income. Not a high income either. It has been really tough for the past three years but things have been getting a little bit easier. Monday my husband and I were talking about going back to school. So I got online and looked up taking classes on the Internet. This is the only way I will be taking classes because I can not afford a sitter and I will never let my children enter daycare. I am not comfortable with that thought by any means. I have heard way too many horror stories and I am not willing to trust a complete stranger with my kids!
I looked into Kaplan University and into University of Phoenix. Oh my goodness, I can not believe how much more expensive Univ. of Phoenix is compared to Kaplan. University of Phoenix has my info to be able to look at the classes they offer online and now they will not quit calling me. They will not leave me alone what so ever.
I went ahead and applied for Kaplan University and I am very happy with my decision. I have been talking with my Kaplan advisor, Ivory for three days out of this week already. It has been very time consuming. I have filled out my FAFSA papers and I am proud to say I am getting help with 11,000 dollars from FAFSA! I am still looking to see if I am able to get any more help with grants/scholarships. No matter what I will be going. I start school March 24Th. I could not be happier about it. I am going for my associates in human services. I feel very strongly that this will be a very good career move for me. I think at the end of the day I will feel very good about myself and it will be very fulfilling.
Hollis is wanting to go for Criminal Justice. He has talked about being a police officer for as long as I can remember. He has not talked to an advisor yet for it. The cost for his schooling is outrageous compared to how much it is costing me. I really want him to talk to someone about it though. This is something he has always wanted to do. I want him to feel a sense of accomplishment as well. I want him to be happy in his career instead of being stuck in a factory job for the rest of his life. I hope he does it. I want him to be happy in whatever he decides to do.
I love being a mom. I always feel bad though because I have not accomplished much in life. I feel like I wasn't leading a good example for my children. I want them to see that mommy did good in school, went off to college, and made something of herself. I always though I wanted to wait til my kids are out of the house and in school to go back myself. I am scared that if I wait any longer I won't go and things will become worse. With me taking online courses, I don't have to worry about waiting til my kids are no longer home all day. I can get things done with them here and get my schooling done sooner than I had planned.
Anyways, I am so excited. I can't wait. I would start my classes today if I could. I just wanted to let everyone know about how happy and excited I am for the moment. Things are starting to look good for me for the time being!!!
I looked into Kaplan University and into University of Phoenix. Oh my goodness, I can not believe how much more expensive Univ. of Phoenix is compared to Kaplan. University of Phoenix has my info to be able to look at the classes they offer online and now they will not quit calling me. They will not leave me alone what so ever.
I went ahead and applied for Kaplan University and I am very happy with my decision. I have been talking with my Kaplan advisor, Ivory for three days out of this week already. It has been very time consuming. I have filled out my FAFSA papers and I am proud to say I am getting help with 11,000 dollars from FAFSA! I am still looking to see if I am able to get any more help with grants/scholarships. No matter what I will be going. I start school March 24Th. I could not be happier about it. I am going for my associates in human services. I feel very strongly that this will be a very good career move for me. I think at the end of the day I will feel very good about myself and it will be very fulfilling.
Hollis is wanting to go for Criminal Justice. He has talked about being a police officer for as long as I can remember. He has not talked to an advisor yet for it. The cost for his schooling is outrageous compared to how much it is costing me. I really want him to talk to someone about it though. This is something he has always wanted to do. I want him to feel a sense of accomplishment as well. I want him to be happy in his career instead of being stuck in a factory job for the rest of his life. I hope he does it. I want him to be happy in whatever he decides to do.
I love being a mom. I always feel bad though because I have not accomplished much in life. I feel like I wasn't leading a good example for my children. I want them to see that mommy did good in school, went off to college, and made something of herself. I always though I wanted to wait til my kids are out of the house and in school to go back myself. I am scared that if I wait any longer I won't go and things will become worse. With me taking online courses, I don't have to worry about waiting til my kids are no longer home all day. I can get things done with them here and get my schooling done sooner than I had planned.
Anyways, I am so excited. I can't wait. I would start my classes today if I could. I just wanted to let everyone know about how happy and excited I am for the moment. Things are starting to look good for me for the time being!!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Fixed Up the Apartment!!!
So, this past November we moved into a smaller cheaper apartment so we could save some money. Our last place was way too expensive. Little did I know how horrible the place actually was. My husband decided on the place without me seeing it first and I was told I would like it... Well, no of course I did not like it but truly didn't have much of a choice. It's just multiple little things that makes this place look so bad, including lazy management, landlord, and maintenance! It has been almost 4 months since we have moved here and we are still yet to have any bedroom doors. We don't have closet doors in our bedroom. Both closet doors in the living room, the closet door in the hallway area, and the bathroom door all need to be replaced. They have huge holes in the doors. There is a huge hole in our bathroom wall and behind our front door in the living room. We have got into it multiple times with the landlord and maintenance. The lack of respect and responsibility in them is just absolutely ridiculous!!! At the moment this place is our only option so we are trying to make the best of it. We got a good amount on our tax return so what we did was paid off some bills, paid ahead on some bills, fixed my car (well got the parts anyways) and the rest has went into this horrid place. To my complete astonishment it actually looks so so so much better.
The weekend we got our money, Hollis kept the kids and Jessi, Kerri, Whitney and I went to Ikea and lunch. Had an awesome time. The place was huge. Took forever to go through and still need to go back. Everyone got some end tables besides myself because I wasn't sure that they would fit. After getting all our new furniture set up and all of our old furniture out we realized we did have room for the end tables. I need to go back to get those. We have painted the whole place. I invested in all new matching picture frames and updated all of our old pictures. We got some new shelving, a new hutch, new computer and desk. We re did our bedroom, but have not painted. All that is left to do is the kiddo's bedroom. Still undecided on what we are going to do with it.
My husband, Hollis, has been a lot happier now that we have caught up and are a little ahead on all of the bills. Since he is the one that goes out and works, I am sure its a big relief of stress off of his shoulders. He works hard and is still able to come home and spend time with the kids and I. I appreciate him so much. He is such a good husband and father. He has definitely come a long way. I love him so much!
After fixing up this place a little bit, I have been a much happier person as well. I hated living in this hell hole. It looked absolutely horrible and I was so embarrassed to have anyone over. I still don't get along with landlord or maintenance and probably never will until they got off their lazy butt's and do their job... But I am glad this place is looking better. It feels more like a home instead of a prison cell.
Some things are finally starting to look up for us and it is about time... Seriously! I can't wait to see what else the future holds for My Wonderful Crazy Life!!!
The weekend we got our money, Hollis kept the kids and Jessi, Kerri, Whitney and I went to Ikea and lunch. Had an awesome time. The place was huge. Took forever to go through and still need to go back. Everyone got some end tables besides myself because I wasn't sure that they would fit. After getting all our new furniture set up and all of our old furniture out we realized we did have room for the end tables. I need to go back to get those. We have painted the whole place. I invested in all new matching picture frames and updated all of our old pictures. We got some new shelving, a new hutch, new computer and desk. We re did our bedroom, but have not painted. All that is left to do is the kiddo's bedroom. Still undecided on what we are going to do with it.
My husband, Hollis, has been a lot happier now that we have caught up and are a little ahead on all of the bills. Since he is the one that goes out and works, I am sure its a big relief of stress off of his shoulders. He works hard and is still able to come home and spend time with the kids and I. I appreciate him so much. He is such a good husband and father. He has definitely come a long way. I love him so much!
After fixing up this place a little bit, I have been a much happier person as well. I hated living in this hell hole. It looked absolutely horrible and I was so embarrassed to have anyone over. I still don't get along with landlord or maintenance and probably never will until they got off their lazy butt's and do their job... But I am glad this place is looking better. It feels more like a home instead of a prison cell.
Some things are finally starting to look up for us and it is about time... Seriously! I can't wait to see what else the future holds for My Wonderful Crazy Life!!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ugh... Life
So it has been almost a year without a car. I am more than ready to have it fixed. I have been stuck at home, dependant on others for a year now and it is time for that to stop. My brother Nathan is coming over today to look at my car to see what all needs to be fixed. Its just little things that need to be done for my car to run properly. I just never had the money to do it. I put a good amount of money aside from our tax return so there was a chance of having it running very soon. I'm hoping I will have a car before March. Eli has his 15 month check up the first of March and it would be nice to not have to ask Hollis to take off work. I'm ready to be doing these things on my own.
Eli definitely needs his arm looked at again and probably some more antibiotics and steroid cream. He has eczema pretty bad and it keeps coming back in the same spot. They say if I keep it moisturized it will stay under control. Well that isn't the case with Eli. I have switched to a Dove sensitive skin soap, unscented lotion, and he uses his antihistamine like they recommended. It keeps coming back. The only way it stays under control is with his steroid cream, which he isn't able to have all the time. It's not healthy. He is out of his steroid cream. They need to think of something new to do or actually send him to a dermatologist like I have been wanting to for so many months now.
This past Monday we took our cat, Kitty Kitty, to the vet to have him neutered and De-clawed. He was supposed to come home yesterday but they decided to keep him another night. They took the bandages off his paws and he was still bleeding so they didn't want to send him home yet. I tried calling Hollis at work to let him know that he did not need to go and get him. Of course he did not get my message and drove all the way to Georgetown for no reason. He was not happy about it. Oh well, not my fault. Hopefully he gets to come home today and won't be too angry with us. I'm hoping him being fixed will stop him from spraying. If not he's going to have to leave. He is the best cat I have ever had so I don't want to get rid of him. He is so good with my kids no matter how rough they get with him. He takes a lot of crap from my kids. I am going to try to find a safe place for Kitty Kitty to rest while he is healing so my kids can't get to him.
Anyways, that's what is going on today in my life.....
Eli definitely needs his arm looked at again and probably some more antibiotics and steroid cream. He has eczema pretty bad and it keeps coming back in the same spot. They say if I keep it moisturized it will stay under control. Well that isn't the case with Eli. I have switched to a Dove sensitive skin soap, unscented lotion, and he uses his antihistamine like they recommended. It keeps coming back. The only way it stays under control is with his steroid cream, which he isn't able to have all the time. It's not healthy. He is out of his steroid cream. They need to think of something new to do or actually send him to a dermatologist like I have been wanting to for so many months now.
This past Monday we took our cat, Kitty Kitty, to the vet to have him neutered and De-clawed. He was supposed to come home yesterday but they decided to keep him another night. They took the bandages off his paws and he was still bleeding so they didn't want to send him home yet. I tried calling Hollis at work to let him know that he did not need to go and get him. Of course he did not get my message and drove all the way to Georgetown for no reason. He was not happy about it. Oh well, not my fault. Hopefully he gets to come home today and won't be too angry with us. I'm hoping him being fixed will stop him from spraying. If not he's going to have to leave. He is the best cat I have ever had so I don't want to get rid of him. He is so good with my kids no matter how rough they get with him. He takes a lot of crap from my kids. I am going to try to find a safe place for Kitty Kitty to rest while he is healing so my kids can't get to him.
Anyways, that's what is going on today in my life.....
Thursday, February 4, 2010
First Time Blogger
Hello Everyone. My name is Tiffany Thomas and this is my first time blogging. I have seen some of my friends blogs and absolutely love it. I have not had the Internet or a computer in a really long time. My husband and I have recently got our tax return, and let me tell ya, we have went on one heck of a shopping spree. A much needed shopping spree.
So a little about me and my crazy wonderful life:
As you may or may not know me, my name is Tiffany Rae Thomas. I was born on April 26, 1986. I have live in Ohio all my life and probably always will. I grew up in a small town called Goshen until my high school years. My mom moved us to Mount Orab in 2001, my freshman year, when her and her long time boyfriend split up. He was the closest thing I had to a father because my father was never a big part of my life until recently. My step dad's name was Duane and he raised me. We don't have much of a relationship anymore. It's sad because I wanted him to be the grandfather to my children. OK, well enough about him.
So we moved to Mount Orab and I can honestly say, I hated it. I hated the fact that my mom up and moved us the beginning of my freshman year. I missed all of my friends. I had a lot of friends, but I do not do well with change. I am a very shy quiet person. I had no friends until one day in my FCCLA class I was placed next to this girl named Jessica Jetter. Did not say one word to her until she started talking to me. To this day she is my best friend in the whole wide world. If it wasn't for her, Brittany Milburn-Wolke, and a few other friends... My high school experience would have been hell! I graduated in May of 2006 and that turned out to be the beginning of my crazy wonderful life.
I had a few relationships in high school, but only two serious relationships and both of those relationships turned out to be failures. My first serious relationship, thought he was the love of my life. We got along so well and spent every minute with each other that we were able to. But mistakes were made by both of us and it ended quickly, and might I say badly! My second serious relationship, wish it never happened. Saying he was the biggest mistake in my entire life is an understatement HAHAHA! I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking with him. By far the worst boyfriend in the world.
So after making and learning from my mistakes, I met the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, Hollis Dwight Thomas! We worked together at OMG. Had the biggest crush on him. We always caught each other looking at one another on more than one occasion. We started dating at the end of 2005 and we were married May 13, 2006. We eloped with just a few friends. Didn't have a honeymoon and had to go back to work two days later. He is by far my best decision I have ever made. No marriage is perfect. We have went through some hard times. We have had our ups and downs like any other normal relationship. We will always have our battles. But our love is true. He is amazing. He is my life and I wouldn't have my crazy wonderful life without him. I truly love him with all my heart. He is my best friend, my true love, my world!
We waited four months before we decided to have children. We wanted children before we were even married. We were both ready to be parents more than anything in the world. Three months after we were married we found out I was pregnant and two days later I miscarried. It was very upsetting, but we weren't giving up. The next month.... Yes I was pregnant again. I was so nervous through this pregnancy because of my previous miscarriage but extremely excited at the same time. My first pregnancy was very uncomfortable. We found out we was having a girl and she was not due til June 28Th of 2007. Through my last trimester my pregnancy was horrible. I was swollen to the max. I couldn't bend my fingers, wear shoes or socks, and I had high blood pressure. We tried everything to get my bp down but nothing was working. We were admitted to the hospital on a Wednesday at 7pm the 13Th. Let me to tell you my labor was absolutely horrible. They let me lay there for 3 days only dilated 1cm before they decided to do a c section. After two cervidils and pitocin I was so ready for a c section. I did not care what I had to do anymore to get this little girl out. She was born on Friday June 15Th 2007 at 9:56 am. She was healthy at 7lbs 2oz and 19.5in. Courtney Anne Thomas is about to turn 3 on her way to 16. She is a hand full. She is energetic, smart, bright, curious, outgoing, loving, caring, respectful, brutally honest wonderful little girl. We already butt heads a lot. Others may have their opinions about her, but she is my amazing little girl. I love her with every beat of my heart. I don't know where I would be without her. She has changed my life so much. I have grown up so much after having her and I learn so much from her about myself every day. I can not believe how fast she is growing up. She is so amazing and perfect.
Our second child was a bit of a surprise but not a regret by any means. My husband and I had a brief "break" and we had just gotten back together. We were in the middle of moving and working things out when two months later, I realize wow I haven't had my monthly. So on my daughter's 8 month check up, I picked up a pregnancy test and went to a friends house. It was definitely positive. I was so shocked, scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. He was definitely a blessing in disguise.
We found out we was having a boy. My original due date was October 9Th 2008 and when I had an ultrasound they changed it to November 12Th 2008. Big SHOCK! That was a crazy gap to me and I could not believe it. We had a scheduled c section for November 6Th 2008. He was born on a Thursday November 6Th 2008 at 8:21am at a healthy weight of 10lbs 2oz and 21.5 inches long. Oh yes you read that right. We were more shocked on how big he was. I am so glad I did not have to try to do vaginal with him. His name is Eli Dwight Thomas and he is our blessing in disguise. He is my little man. He is a wonderful, vibrant, happy, giggly, loving, exciting, wonderful and handsome little boy. He did not stay a baby for long and it upsets me very much. I wish I could freeze time with both of my baby's and keep them at the age that they are now. I miss having little baby laughs and whimpers around. They are growing up too fast on me and I am not ready for it at all.
So now that I have pretty much told you my life story, this is me. This is my wonderful crazy life that I love. I love being a stay at home mom. I love watching my children grow every day, every minute of their life. My family is my universe. Everything I do is for my family. I live to watch my family grow. I have an amazing life. A wonderful life. This is my perfect wonderful crazy life!!!
So a little about me and my crazy wonderful life:
As you may or may not know me, my name is Tiffany Rae Thomas. I was born on April 26, 1986. I have live in Ohio all my life and probably always will. I grew up in a small town called Goshen until my high school years. My mom moved us to Mount Orab in 2001, my freshman year, when her and her long time boyfriend split up. He was the closest thing I had to a father because my father was never a big part of my life until recently. My step dad's name was Duane and he raised me. We don't have much of a relationship anymore. It's sad because I wanted him to be the grandfather to my children. OK, well enough about him.
So we moved to Mount Orab and I can honestly say, I hated it. I hated the fact that my mom up and moved us the beginning of my freshman year. I missed all of my friends. I had a lot of friends, but I do not do well with change. I am a very shy quiet person. I had no friends until one day in my FCCLA class I was placed next to this girl named Jessica Jetter. Did not say one word to her until she started talking to me. To this day she is my best friend in the whole wide world. If it wasn't for her, Brittany Milburn-Wolke, and a few other friends... My high school experience would have been hell! I graduated in May of 2006 and that turned out to be the beginning of my crazy wonderful life.
I had a few relationships in high school, but only two serious relationships and both of those relationships turned out to be failures. My first serious relationship, thought he was the love of my life. We got along so well and spent every minute with each other that we were able to. But mistakes were made by both of us and it ended quickly, and might I say badly! My second serious relationship, wish it never happened. Saying he was the biggest mistake in my entire life is an understatement HAHAHA! I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking with him. By far the worst boyfriend in the world.
So after making and learning from my mistakes, I met the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, Hollis Dwight Thomas! We worked together at OMG. Had the biggest crush on him. We always caught each other looking at one another on more than one occasion. We started dating at the end of 2005 and we were married May 13, 2006. We eloped with just a few friends. Didn't have a honeymoon and had to go back to work two days later. He is by far my best decision I have ever made. No marriage is perfect. We have went through some hard times. We have had our ups and downs like any other normal relationship. We will always have our battles. But our love is true. He is amazing. He is my life and I wouldn't have my crazy wonderful life without him. I truly love him with all my heart. He is my best friend, my true love, my world!
We waited four months before we decided to have children. We wanted children before we were even married. We were both ready to be parents more than anything in the world. Three months after we were married we found out I was pregnant and two days later I miscarried. It was very upsetting, but we weren't giving up. The next month.... Yes I was pregnant again. I was so nervous through this pregnancy because of my previous miscarriage but extremely excited at the same time. My first pregnancy was very uncomfortable. We found out we was having a girl and she was not due til June 28Th of 2007. Through my last trimester my pregnancy was horrible. I was swollen to the max. I couldn't bend my fingers, wear shoes or socks, and I had high blood pressure. We tried everything to get my bp down but nothing was working. We were admitted to the hospital on a Wednesday at 7pm the 13Th. Let me to tell you my labor was absolutely horrible. They let me lay there for 3 days only dilated 1cm before they decided to do a c section. After two cervidils and pitocin I was so ready for a c section. I did not care what I had to do anymore to get this little girl out. She was born on Friday June 15Th 2007 at 9:56 am. She was healthy at 7lbs 2oz and 19.5in. Courtney Anne Thomas is about to turn 3 on her way to 16. She is a hand full. She is energetic, smart, bright, curious, outgoing, loving, caring, respectful, brutally honest wonderful little girl. We already butt heads a lot. Others may have their opinions about her, but she is my amazing little girl. I love her with every beat of my heart. I don't know where I would be without her. She has changed my life so much. I have grown up so much after having her and I learn so much from her about myself every day. I can not believe how fast she is growing up. She is so amazing and perfect.
Our second child was a bit of a surprise but not a regret by any means. My husband and I had a brief "break" and we had just gotten back together. We were in the middle of moving and working things out when two months later, I realize wow I haven't had my monthly. So on my daughter's 8 month check up, I picked up a pregnancy test and went to a friends house. It was definitely positive. I was so shocked, scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. He was definitely a blessing in disguise.
We found out we was having a boy. My original due date was October 9Th 2008 and when I had an ultrasound they changed it to November 12Th 2008. Big SHOCK! That was a crazy gap to me and I could not believe it. We had a scheduled c section for November 6Th 2008. He was born on a Thursday November 6Th 2008 at 8:21am at a healthy weight of 10lbs 2oz and 21.5 inches long. Oh yes you read that right. We were more shocked on how big he was. I am so glad I did not have to try to do vaginal with him. His name is Eli Dwight Thomas and he is our blessing in disguise. He is my little man. He is a wonderful, vibrant, happy, giggly, loving, exciting, wonderful and handsome little boy. He did not stay a baby for long and it upsets me very much. I wish I could freeze time with both of my baby's and keep them at the age that they are now. I miss having little baby laughs and whimpers around. They are growing up too fast on me and I am not ready for it at all.
So now that I have pretty much told you my life story, this is me. This is my wonderful crazy life that I love. I love being a stay at home mom. I love watching my children grow every day, every minute of their life. My family is my universe. Everything I do is for my family. I live to watch my family grow. I have an amazing life. A wonderful life. This is my perfect wonderful crazy life!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
